How would I describe Black Swan?
Incredible. Suspenseful. Riveting. Beautiful. Seductive. Ridiculous. Tragic. Honest. Black Swan is the world at its best and the world at its worst. It’s human. Aronofsky had a vision and Natalie Portman brought that vision to life. With a near-impossible role of an impenetrable heroine, Portman easily seduces the audience into caring for her without ever coming to a real understanding of her. She loses her grip on reality with such flawlessness and intensity that the audience forgets what’s what along with her. Portman shows the audience both the hero and villain that live inside of all of us as her character, Nina Sayers, struggles to let go and stay in control simultaneously. One moment you are looking at a shy, inhibited, uncertain performer, and in the very next you see a girl so passionately compelled to dance it drives her to madness. At the end of it all she claims perfection, that in one moment, she felt it, and that’s all she ever wanted. But as the lights go dim, or in this case, as the screen goes white you are left wondering which moment she is referring to. Is it the moment the audience rose to their feet in applause? Was it because she was able to play the two halves of herself in their entirety? Or was it the moment that she realized the Swan Princess and the Black Swan would only ever agree on one thing, death? Spellbinding. Magnificent. Brazen. Unique. It truly is cinema in its purest form.
Lie to Me
Tell me it’s going to be alright
When I close my eyes, while there’s no light
Tell me it’s going to be untouched
That I’ll come back, to how it was
Tell me that in leaving I won’t miss a thing
Not a breath or a heartbeat
But if none of this is the truth
Then would you
Lie to me, please
Tell me there’s no need to worry
Look me in the eyes, convince me this time
Can you really tell me you’re not worried
Because I see your eyes, and they can’t lie
Tell me that in leaving I won’t miss a thing
Not a breath or a heartbeat
But if none of this is the truth
Then would you
Lie to me, please
I can’t out run reality
And I can’t pretend that I don’t see
But that doesn’t make me ready to face anything
My nightmares should stay in my sleep
Tell me it’ll all be over soon
Say that my heart won’t break
But if none of this is the truth
Then would you
Lie to me, please
Me From A to Z…
all you need to know about me in one or two-ish words! it’s harder than you think. try it! thanks brooke white for the idea!
A- artsyB- boldC- childishD- dysfunctionalE- even-temperedF- firstG- God-fearingH- humorousI- interestingJ- joyousK- kind-heartedL- lovableM- motherlyN- nervousO- omnivorous P- procrastinatorQ- quick-wittedR- reliableS- savvyT- thinkerU- uncertainV- vulnerableW- writerX- xenialY- youngZ- zealous
This is the Story of a Girl
she is only one what ifs but she’s angry with Him she’s broken afraid that what she wants will be gone before it’s hers she searched she is only one she’ll think there’s something wrong with her she is only one but change will come the truth
but she is all of them
she breathes in and out and
tries to make her life make sense
she tries with the best of them
and falls like the rest of them
she’s scared and
lonely and
uncertain and
scared ever still
she cant let her heart break because
what if no one is there when its over
every souls’ enemy
the fastest way to take you from your feet to your knees
unless youre ready
unless you know
unless someone tells you
you’re not the first
wont be the last
and you’re not alone
but vulnerability is never easy
if it was
she’d be less like her
and more like Him
feels as though He’s been unfair
all He ever seems to do is take
and she can’t take it anymore
she never stops to think
that He’s taking things she doesn’t need
she just knows
it’s out of her control
and she hates
so she hates Him
but would never tell you
and longing
and wanting
but afraid
afraid to know her own worth
and afraid her worth won’t be worth much
she’s afraid to fight to reach the surface
to know Love
real Love
she’s afraid she’ll lose it all if she lets it all go
afraid to ask the questions
afraid to know the answers
because even though she says she isn’t
she’s truly too afraid to know
but never found
so now she doesn’t look
what you can’t see can’t be real
can’t hurt
out of sight
out of mind
out of pain
she’s surviving just to live
and barely succeeding
her bleeding
damaged heart
with an unrelenting ache
never lets her rest
even when it’s needed
but she is all of them
she fights for security
and yearns for her independence
but with him
those don’t exist in tandem
there’s always a demand for sacrifice
for compromise
and she makes it thinking she has no choice
her desperation to keep from being lonely
has robbed her of a voice
but she can’t see
what she has isn’t love
it’s duty
and when that duty has been fulfilled
she’ll be right back where she started
lonely and hurting and confused
but she won’t like that thought
as soon as she can she will move on
she’ll find something else to fill that hole
she can’t tell that as she fills
it grows
and will forever remain unsatisfied
until she finds the right Guy
and chances of that are slim if she never looks up
but she is all of them
she thinks she has it figured out
she thinks she knows herself
but her eyes are blinded
and she’s chosen that because it’s better than seeing
seeing means responsibility
seeing means changing
and change is frightening
no matter what
because if know one else
He loves her that much
loves her enough to never leave
and to never leave her as He found her
it’s going to be difficult no matter what
and she will fight
she will cry
she will beg for it to stop
and it won’t
because sooner or later she will have to know
about all of it
her fault in it
it’s going to come
and she’s not the only one
He’s cute. He’s witty. He’s incredibly talented! If you are not familiar with Matthew Gray Gubler then I suggest you drop whatever you’re doing and get started!
Speak Up
About a month ago we learned that the clinical trial medication my grandmother was taking wasnt working, the CAT scan showed that her tumor had grown. We asked the doctor what the chemo options were, we scheduled an appointment for the day that she would start it, had the prescriptions filled, and then waited for that day to arrive. However at this doctors appointment no one wanted to ask the only question that was really important, what her prognosis was if she did nothing. I had to know. The doctor said, “at best, one year” and then he apologized. I had to walk back into that hospital room so I couldn’t call apart…but I wanted to. One year at best. Not surprising, but not easy to hear either. Later that week I told my cousin. Her initial response was that we knew that already, that’s what the doctor said the first time around. My cousin is like me, we don’t wear our hearts on our sleeves all the time, in our family it’s not a luxury we have nor is it one we would take advantage of even if we did. My cousin and I were headed out for some drinks with a friend, and somehow we landed on the subject of our dying grandmother. At that point the tears were inevitable. She looked at me and said, “it’s not much time”.
Sometimes it’s better to say nothing then to try to find comforting words, and so I said nothing. I felt the same way, and I knew that there was nothing that I could hear that would make me feel better, so why bother? However, that statement resonated with me, I couldn’t shake it. There was so much more to be said, but what? It took me a few days to shed even the slightest amount of hope through the finality of this situation, but finally I did. What you will read next is attempt and finding the silver lining…
One year.
Maybe less.
But not more.
One year.
It’s not much time.
With life in the fast lane years pass like days.
One year.
One birthday.
One Thanksgiving.
One Christmas.
One less then we thought she’d miss.
One year.
Maybe less.
At most, 365 days we can choose not to take for granted.
One year.
Maybe less.
But not more.
One year.
It’s not much time.
But maybe it’s enough.
One year to say ‘i love you’.
365 days to say ‘thank you’.
8,760 hours worth of memories.
525,600 breath taking moments.
31,536,000 seconds you’ll never have again.
One year.
Maybe less.
It’s not much time.
But maybe it’s enough.
Initially I posted this on my blog “Sweet Silver Lining”, I was skeptical to post it on my facebook because I’m friends with all my family, and I wasn’t ure of their reaction. It’s a touchy subject as you can imagine. However I had this nagging thought that I should and run this risk of offending someone. It’s God’s way of reminding me that I wrote it for a reason, my cousin sparked something, but left it in a hopeless state, and I was supposed to bring it full circle with my words. I posted it on facebook and I asked that no one comment on it. Tonight my cousin read it. Afterward I got this text, “just read ‘maybe it’s enough’. i love your words and i love you.” This situation needs hope, and if I have that I can’t be afraid to share it!
Saw Alice in Wonderland today. Tim Burton is a genius and no one could have pulled off the Hatter like Johnny Depp! It is a must see for adults and children alike! My favorite quote… “You’ve lost your muchness.” -Hatter
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